If I take a moment to reflect on my work, the last feeling in the back of the queue is always a bit of guilt. I can't help but notice, with frustration, how much my subjects and techniques do not seem to be consistent or stable, changing daily with the mood swings.  I feel guilty because I don't know what to believe; whether I should not chase multiple roads sticking to one path, or whether this is all a natural progression of building my own style.

In the same way I'd like to live my life, I don't want to confine my way to what's safe and mastered. I want to look ahead and see new land, smell a thousand foreign springs and the exciting discomfort of a stranger soil beneath my feet.

I am a very instinctive painter and time is my worst enemy. Once I have started, I feel the pressure to finish the work in one sitting. Reflecting on it, I came to understand that it is all about fear of forgetting where I was going. Moved not by the fear of getting lost but  by the fear of becoming someone different the day after. 

Sometimes I wonder how other established artists have 'found themselves' and their style - What's the secret? Is it sticking to what you can do and do it well? Try over and over until you master it?