About me

 

I have always painted for my own desire to create and release my emotions.

Being untrained, I have been very reserved and private with my art, and never dreamed to call myself an 'artist' or a 'painter'. Then I realized that there is no need of naming what one feels. There is no need to try to be cool if you can just be warm, and there is no need to always be appropriate if you can be honest with yourself. In fact, perhaps I am not an artist. Like most of us, I merely observe the world around me trying to find my way forward.

Nature plays a big role in my inspiration process.

If I take a moment to reflect on my work, the last feeling in the back of the queue is always a bit of guilt. I can't help but notice, with frustration, how much my subjects and techniques do not seem to be consistent with a defined style or theme, changing daily with the mood swinging like clouds running in the sky.  I feel guilty because I don't know what to believe; whether I should not chase multiple roads and stick to one path, or whether this is all a natural progression of building my own style.

In the same way I'd like to live my life, I don't want to stick to what's safe and mastered. I want to look ahead and see new land, smell a thousand foreign springs and the exciting discomfort of a stranger soil beneath my feet.

I am a very instinctive painter and my worst enemy is time. Once I have started, I feel the pressure and the need to finish the work in one sitting. Reflecting on it, I came to understand that it is all about fear of forgetting where I was going. Moved not by the fear of getting lost but  by the fear of becoming someone different the day after. 

Sometimes I wonder how other established artists have 'found themselves' and their style...

What's the secret? Is it sticking to what you can do and do it well? Try over and over until you master it? 

 

Self-discovery through creation brings a bittersweet joy. It inspires me to see the beauty in everything and find myself a bit more aware of my own limits, yet not enough to dissuade me from breaking boundaries between hand and mind.

Art teaches me every day to tell a story regardless of the ending, and stop relying on anyone's opinion or chasing approval from outsiders for gratification. Let's celebrate life with all of its sad tones and the gentle pack on our shoulders through  all the up and down hills.  

My style and my subjects are ever-changing and I find myself getting inspired by multiple things in the same day or sometimes on the same canvas, where I start playing with pencil, charcoal, ink, coffee, wine, watercolours, oil and industrial paint.

 

But then again, the difference between what one 'can' and what one 'wants' is a very sharp and sour line.

Reaching into the unknown to measure yourself with a new challenge, or a new skill...is it that bad?

 


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